Warning! A National Hay Emergency Alert has been issued. Seek a place of safety immediately. Citizens are warned to take all precautions. Beware over-sized vehicles smuggling cheap hay and attempting to pass it off as “government hay”. Be on the lookout for extreme grazing. Gangs of rogue livestock have been seen in suburban areas; shrubbery losses have been devastating. Fern Spindlewick, a 72 year old grandmother from Polk County, said,”I woke up and my entire home garden was gone…just gone! Now how am I going to put up any canned cream corn this year?”
Homeowners that find cattle or other livestock browsing on their lawns are asked to inform the authorities. Do not attempt to interrupt their feeding as frightened herd animals may create local clouds of flammable methane gas, which authorities blame for several outbreaks of wildfires across Oklahoma.
Did you know… Spontaneous outbursts of flatulence are the #1 cause of wildfires?
Mikey's Wild Notions 